So… lets gets this clear. Boris Johnson, the King in the South is getting us “match fit” by proposing spending £40bn on upgrading Britain’s nuclear arsenal only weeks after offering the NHS a £500m 1% pay rise.
Breaking every nuclear non prolific arms treaty he has ever signed (albeit in wax crayon), the PM was in a Tom Clancyesque mood claiming this action is to counter the Real and Present Danger of “cyber” terrorism by Russia and China.
According to Downing street sources Boris is in a bit of a snit after discovering someone had hacked his twitter account and posted:
Experts from MI6’s Cyber Unit, National Terrorism Section (abreviation redacted) analysed the PM’s Amstrad PCW and using the highly encrypted password “Boris1234” managed to trace the digital finger print to a laptop on a golf course in the US. On investigating the scene the FBI found traces of soya sauce on the keyboard and drops of vodka in a nearby plastic cup, pointing irrefutably to government funded agencies in Beijing and Moscow.